Step 1: Find a tree. This is a willow. Fast growing but a messy pain in a few years. Never should have planted it in the yard. It was dying, time to go.
Step 2: Cut tree down and haul out branches and brush. Good news: Chain saw rips through willow. Bad News: Willow is terrible fire wood…… Ponder on what to do with THAT….Hmm, I see a “creature” in that chunk. See it?
Step 3: Pull the beast away from the trunk and flip it with a tow strap and the Escape. The neighbors are still talking about that show. “What the heck is he doing now?”
Step 4: Begin amputation of non-essential legs. This octopus now has 8 or 9 legs, depending on who is counting.
Step 5: Visualize the octopus trying to break out of the wood. Saw, take breaks, saw some more, wave at the drive-bys, go inside until traffic dies down.
Step 6: Experiment with eyes…They need to be big. Went online to view drawings…..Oh, dear…my eyes are not even close to a “real” octopus. Heat and exhaustion are taking a toll. (Beep, beep! More waving…)
Step 6: Kill grass under octopus and sweep sawdust under. Sip cold beverage and wave at the traffic.
It occured to me that you need a scale of the size of this beast….
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!!